Temperament differences | Parenting resource

Objectives

Understand how stress and the brain are linked.
Identify stressors and their possible causes.
Develop strategies for keeping calm during parenting challenges.

Process

Open with questions for the group:

Do some of our kids’ behaviours annoy us more than their siblings’ behaviours?
Why do you think that is?

Introduce the concept of ‘temperament’. This is a natural style of characteristic behaviours that we’re born with, and remains fairly constant throughout our lives.

Clarify the differences between temperament and behaviour related to developmental age or stage (which will change as kids grow and develop).

Write up the 9 temperament traits covered in the ‘The origin of personality’ research by Chess, Thomas & Birch. Help the group to come up with examples of how each trait might be expressed.

Temperament trait	Expression of trait	Expression of trait
Activity level	High	Low
Attention span and persistence	Persistent	Not so persistent
Distractibility	Strong concentration	Easily distracted
Approach–withdrawal	New situations with ease	More cautious
Adaptability to change	Easily adapts	Not easily adaptable
Level of sensitivity	Less sensitive	More sensitive
Intensity of reaction to stimuli	Intense	Less intense
Quality of mood	Happy disposition	Negative disposition
Regularity, rhythmicity	Regular pattern	Irregular pattern

Ask the participants to focus on one of their children and see if they can identify which of the traits they demonstrate most strongly.

Repeat the activity for their other children or for themselves. Ask the participants:

How might these traits affect a child’s learning or behaviour?
How might they influence how other people respond to them? How might their traits affect their parents’ behaviour?

Record the responses.

The temperament traits can be grouped into:

• Easy and flexible

• Active

• Cautious

• Combination

Be aware that whānau might see some traits as ‘good’ and others as ‘bad’. Try to help them understand that temperament traits have both strengths and weaknesses, and that kids, just like adults, aren’t all the same.

Some tamariki will need more support or encouragement in different areas and at different times for them to learn, behave in an acceptable way and develop to their full potential. Knowing when and how to help or encourage can make life a lot less stressful.