Koha is a common tikanga in Māori tradition and involves the act of giving. The same tikanga applies today. In formal situations, taonga are usually given as a token of appreciation and respect. When visiting friends and whānau, a koha of kai may be appropriate, especially your own special recipe or dish.
Giving mokopuna time and attention and making them feel safe and secure is the biggest koha any whānau can give them — it’s priceless.
- What do you think about the giving of koha?
- What happens with your friends and family in terms of gift giving?
- Have you experienced koha in a formal situation, for example, arriving at a marae for a powhiri? What happened?
- What is usual amongst your whānau and friends as far as taking a koha when you are visiting?
- What do you like to have happen when people visit you?
- It is suggested that a parent’s time and attention is a ‘priceless’ koha they can give their tamariki. What do you think of that?
- What sort of time and attention do you think your tamaiti would like?
- Thinking back to your childhood, what gifts do you remember receiving?
- What might qualify as a koha for your tamaiti?
Let’s look at the ara mātua (the parenting pathway for this age range) and see if there are things there that could be considered a koha for mokopuna. It might be as simple as having a ritual before their moe, or talking to each other, playing together or sharing a story.
These routines have the ability to help a young child feel safe and secure. This sense of safety has been identified as a key factor in promoting effective discipline.
Ask the whānau:
- What else could help your tamariki feel safe and secure?
- What about the opposite — things that might make them feel unsafe or insecure?
- If possible watch the Children’s Voices film clip on the SKIP website together.
- What do the tamariki say about how they like to be treated?
Most of the things they ask for relate to love and warmth, which is another one of the six components of effective discipline.
Enjoying any one of the many play ideas and activities in this resource together with mokopuna are a koha for them.
How does this relate to the SKIP resources?
Baby Wall Frieze - Whakarangatiratia ahau - Make me feel special. My brain can learn more when I feel safe and secure.
Six things children need -
Every one of the six tohu whānau applies to this kaupapa, as they each have a role in building positive relationships with our tamariki.
Te aroha me te mahana - love and warmth
Te kōrero me te whakarongo - talking and listening
Te ārahi me te māramatanga - guidance and understanding
Te tūāpapa mō te tika me te hē - limits and boundaries
Te mahi pono - ngā hua me ngā hapa - consistency and consequences
Te hanga ao tōtika, ao haumaru - structured and secure world