The best way to help kids learn to manage their emotions is through your own behaviour. Expressing anger in harmful ways hurts our kids and damages relationships.
If a parent mentions they’ve been losing the plot and getting stressed, you might suggest sitting down and looking through this little SKIP booklet together — Staying calm with kids.Opens in new window
If you suspect the parents are stressed, you might make some gentle enquiries, such as:
- How are things going?
- Often people find toddlerhood to be quite challenging. How have you found things with your toddler these days?
- Do you have any worries about your relationship with your tamaiti?
- What sort of job do you think you are doing as parents?
- In what ways have you found yourselves worrying about things?
- Has anything happened recently that is affecting your lives as parents or as a whānau?
- What things are you doing to look after yourselves?
- Let’s have a look at this booklet Staying calm with kids. We might find some helpful tips. On page 2 it’s suggesting that when we get angry and act out, we’re teaching our kids that this kind of behaviour is OK.
On page 3 we’re reminded that when we act angry towards our child, it triggers stress in them.
We’re also reminded how our children learn from us.
- Have you ever noticed your toddler sounding like you or someone else in the family?
- Sometimes it’s funny — but sometimes it’s not. How did it make you feel when you saw that happening?
- Page 4 explains what happens when we feel anger building up inside.
- Do you recognise these signs?
- What do you do when you’re feeling like this?
- And here are some ideas of things to do when we start to feel that anger (on page 5).
- Have you tried any of these strategies? What works for you?
- Which one do you think you might try next time you’re feeling stressed?
- I’ll leave this book with you. You might like to read it on your own and have a think about what you might be able to do. We can talk about it during my next visit.
- I’ll also leave the fridge magnet, which gives a couple of tips about what to do to help keep calm.
And don’t forget the SKIP Tips app, or the ‘Tips for parents’ page on the SKIP website: https://whanau.skip.org.nz/
How does this relate to the SKIP resources?
Baby Wall Frieze - Kōrero mai, e aroha ana koe ki ahau - tell me you love me
Six things children need - Te ārahi me te māramatanga - guidance and understanding