Session note Session notes

Session notes for Staying calm with kids Stages: 19 to 24 months


The best way to help kids learn to manage their emotions is through your own behaviour. Expressing anger in harmful ways hurts our kids and damages relationships.

If a parent mentions they’ve been losing the plot and getting stressed, you might suggest sitting down and looking through this little SKIP booklet together — Staying calm with kids.Opens in new window

If you suspect the parents are stressed, you might make some gentle enquiries, such as:

  • How are things going?
  • Often people find toddlerhood to be quite challenging. How have you found things with your toddler these days?
  • Do you have any worries about your relationship with your tamaiti?
  • What sort of job do you think you are doing as parents?
  • In what ways have you found yourselves worrying about things?
  • Has anything happened recently that is affecting your lives as parents or as a whānau?
  • What things are you doing to look after yourselves?
  • Let’s have a look at this booklet Staying calm with kids. We might find some helpful tips. On page 2 it’s suggesting that when we get angry and act out, we’re teaching our kids that this kind of behaviour is OK.

On page 3 we’re reminded that when we act angry towards our child, it triggers stress in them.

We’re also reminded how our children learn from us.

  • Have you ever noticed your toddler sounding like you or someone else in the family?
  • Sometimes it’s funny — but sometimes it’s not. How did it make you feel when you saw that happening?
  • Page 4 explains what happens when we feel anger building up inside.
  • Do you recognise these signs?
  • What do you do when you’re feeling like this?
  • And here are some ideas of things to do when we start to feel that anger (on page 5).
  • Have you tried any of these strategies? What works for you?
  • Which one do you think you might try next time you’re feeling stressed?
  • I’ll leave this book with you. You might like to read it on your own and have a think about what you might be able to do. We can talk about it during my next visit.
  • I’ll also leave the fridge magnet, which gives a couple of tips about what to do to help keep calm.

And don’t forget the SKIP Tips app, or the ‘Tips for parents’ page on the SKIP website:

How does this relate to the SKIP resources?

Baby Wall Frieze - Kōrero mai, e aroha ana koe ki ahau - tell me you love me

Six things children need - Te ārahi me te māramatanga - guidance and understanding


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